Coming Out

Last night I told my parents and sister that I was pregnant. God that was scary. I don't know why I was so nervous about it but I was. It had to do with several things, first of all, that I'm just very very early along and every twinge and cramp (and I'm having a decent amount, but no blood, that's what I keep telling myself) sends me into a paranoid funk where I'm sure someones going to suddenly tell me that it didn't work, time to try again. But, in the end I decided that if, God forbid, something happens to the pregnancy, I'm going to want my family's support (E's family is another story, I love them very much but they're not always comforting, we'll wait a bit to tell them).

Second, I just always had this fear that us having a baby was just going to be another magnifyer of how far we are from my family, and how every happy thing that happens in our life essentially just highlights how sad we're making my parents.

Luckily, we've all grown since E and I got married, and my family was absolutely ecstatic. I seriously have never heard my dad squeal like that. Hee.

I feel good about telling them, I feel like I now have some more support that I needed, people cheering for me.

Ahhhh. Letting a big sigh out. I'm really not good at lying to my parents and not telling them was really sitting on me.

Now I just wait until my first u/s, until then I just have to assume everything is working the way it should.