Very Sad

I really thought this was it for us. There's a wave of newly pregnant women in our community and I thought I might be able to catch the tail end of the wave, have some friends be pregnant with me. But it's not too be.

I don't talk about my daughter much anymore on my blog mainly because I feel that if I'm venturing into IF blogging territory I don't want to rub it in people's faces too much. Needless to say she is absolutely wonderful, and while I'm not giving up on another baby yet, we were very lucky to have her and appreciate her existence more an more everyday. I really wish we can give her a sibling. Most of her friends have at least two or more already and there's just no way to explain to her that it's just not so easy. The day of my transfer she spontaneously said from the backseat in the car "Ooof, when are we going to have a baby?!". I took it maybe as a good sign that she was aware of some good baby vibes that we weren't aware of, but it wasn't to be. Again, very sad.

Everybody was just so positive for me this cycle, everyone thought that it was really my time. My friends, my family, my husband, maybe even my daughter. But I guess you need more than positive energy.

I am thankful for the couple days of positive hpts. Something has changed for us, we're pretty sure that this was the first time in years that anything was fertilized. I'm thankful for the four frozen embryos, and hopefully a FET in our near future will be it. This cycle really wasn't ideal for implantation and this just proves it. We tried our best, my RE deserves big gold stars for this one. It's the closest we've been in a long time and now I have to stay positive and move on.