9dp2dt, 6dp5dt

It's that time of the cycle when the depression and insanity kick in. My lower back started burning again this morning. My lower back cramps are the bain of my existence, I have them every month except for the month I actually got pregnant, so I know it might not mean anything but it's hard to keep believing that.

My plan is to test on Tuesday morning, the equivalent of 10dp3dt, but I'm having a very hard time keeping myself away from the box upstairs. Unfortunately, when I can't keep myself from testing is usually when I'm not pregnant.

I spoke to my doctor today with my blood results, which themselves look fine, but he told me that they didn't freeze any of the blasts because they weren't growing well. He then agreed that that didn't bode well for the blast that we did transfer. Even my doctor seems to be losing hope. I think I need to step away from the internet and just wait to test.