The Next Chapter

I am currently working during nap time only, so I will get as much information in here as possible in a short amount of time.





My beautiful daughter, Adi (unfortunately not her real name), was born Friday, November 23rd, at 1:02 am. Just in time to call America and announce her birth to my whole family gathered around the Thanksgiving table (time difference here working to our benefit).





Her birth was really an incredible experience. Going into this pregnancy and birth all I wanted out of her birth was a healthy baby, and no trauma from the experience (emotional or physical) so that I would want to have more kids. To say that I was scared of giving birth was an understatement. What I got from the experience was so much more. I felt empowered, accomplished, and in awe of the whole experience and my new daughter.





The whole thing started the Saturday night before she was born, I came down with an awful stomach flu that had been going around. I was puking all night long into the morning. I finally stopped throwing up Sunday morning but I never really managed to get rid of the nausea, so I stayed home from work the rest of the week (well except for Monday because I convinced myself I was better, wasn't such a good idea).





Tuesday night I had an appointment with my doula (a woman who is a certified midwife, does lots of homebirths, but also doulas (verb?), and conveniently lives on my moshav) for a checkup. She assured me that the stomach bug shouldn't be dangerous as long as I was hydrated, and then felt for A's head position. She said that her head was still pretty high and that she thought I had another week or two before I delivered (putting me about a week after my due date), but that you never know and that she had a woman who delivered the next night after she told her the same thing. Ahem.



The next night (wednesday night), on the dot, I went into labor.



Could have been triggered by the stomach bug, could have just been tempted by fate, who knows. But when I went to bed wednesday night I started having contractions, just in time to make sure I wouldn't get any sleep that night, maximum sleep deprivation. The contractions started out as period type cramps and lasted that way for about an hour or so before they ramped up into, "so that's what real contractions are". The contractions started coming five minutes apart for a minute each pretty much from the beginning. Now, as an aside here. I don't know about your hospital, but mine tells their patients to come to the hospital at exactly that point, when their contractions are 5 minutes apart for a minute each. Don't listen to them, hire a doula who can check your dialation (i.e. a midwife)! She was worth every penny we payed for her because she was able to tell us at 5 am (after convincing her over the phone that I really was in labor, she didn't believe me) that I was only 1cm dialated even though I had been having contractions at this pace since the night before. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if we had actually gone to the hospital when they told us to. They won't admit you to L and D until you are at least 3cm dialated and in active labor. It would have been a very long night.



Anyway, so I continued to labor along at home. I didn't get any sleep, and only got heartburn when I drank the wine that my doula told me to. At about 1pm or so, our doula came over and helped me through my contractions. She did some massage on my lower back during the contractions, but the thing that helped most was the hip press. When she hit the right spot it really cut the pain of the contractions. I highly recommend it. Finally at about 7pm, my doula, E, and I made the decision to go to the hospital. To be honest by that point I was so out of it I don't remember who said the final word or how the decision was really come to, but I was finally 3.5 cm dialated, and definetely in active labor as the contractions were about 2 minutes apart and lasting for a while. All I remember is that I wanted to go to the hospital as soon as possible because I had decided that I did want an epidural once I found out that I was only 2cm or so after about 12 hourse of contractions. I, my doula, and E, kept me going at home until it was really a good idea to get out of there.



So, 7:30 we were in the car. 8pm we were at the hospital. Women's triage was a bit crazy. Everyone had decided to have their babies that night. But they immediately set me up with a saline IV (well immediately was relative since the pain had caused my veins to retract a bit and the poor medical student had to call a more experienced doctor to get it in) so by the time I got into the delivery room I would be able to get the epidural. I have to say though, the time I spent in triage (maybe 45 minutes) was really the most unpleasent and uncomfortable part of the whole experience. The minute you get in there they hook you up on a monitor, and my lord, real contractions are NO FUN when you are forced to lie on your back. Things were so rushed in the room that I couldn't even get in a comfortable position on my side. And if you've been in labor before, you know that the contractions come on their own but they are like muscle spasms in that if you move yourself it can set even more contractions off. Oy. So I was struggling between not moving and getting into a position where I could handle the contractions. Anyway, IV in, cervix checked, 4cm, and me making a lot of noise so I was officially declared in active labor and given a delivery room.

I then had to wait for another 45 minutes (I officially got my epidural at 9:50pm) or so before the anestheseologist came in and in that time I managed to dialate to 6cm. So, the doctor came in, this hardcore russian dude. The midwife came in first warning me that he was a little harsh but that he was a great doctor. I personally thought he was great. No small talk, but he was perfectly nice, and he took this epidural stuff very seriously which is important when someone is sticking a needle in your spinal cord. He was awesome, seriously. I felt the lidocaine, but that's it. There were some funny sensations as he was inserting stuff, but definetely no pain. And I seriously got the perfect epidural, I really feel like I need to send this guy a gift. An epidural in theory is supposed to get rid of the pain but not sensation alltogether (i.e. you're supposed to feel the pressure of contractions once they get pressurey and not painy, different nerves or something like that) and mine did that. I could feel my legs the whole time, and only my right leg was a little hard to move. They let me try to pee myself but I couldn't do it, so they used a catheter but only to drain my bladder once before pushing, they didn't leave it in. Otherwise the only unpleasent side effects were some uncontrolled shivering, but that eventually went away and I was able to fall asleep.

One thing, right after I got my epidural the midwife shift changed and I got this very cute american midwife (she knew my doula and so came to be with me so I could have someone who spoke english) she was only 2 years older than me and went to UPenn. Very comforting to have familiarity in the room. Also, we had this very cute medical student who somehow attached himself to us in the triage room and decided to stay with us the rest of the time, very sweet. So the cast of characters in the delivery room: me, E, doula, OB (who I really liked by my doula said he could be really nasty, though I don't trust my doula in these matters), nice american midwife, and cute medical student. It was quite enjoyable. Anyway, back to the story.

I (and E and my doula) slept for about three hours before suddenly I was able to feel the contractions again, except they were pure pressure. I told my doula that I thought I was fully dialated just from that. The OB came in and checked me and sure enough, 10cm. It's really incredible how the whole thing works. He broke my water (I couldn't believe it had lasted that long), drained my bladder, and told me to "try" pushing just to see how I could push with the epidural. Well, I was definetely able to push, I really could feel everything I needed to feel. That was one of my other fears, that I wouldn't be able to have the strength to push her out since I would be too numb.

So, I started pushing, and about 5 pushes later Adi was out and laying on my stomach at 1:02 am. I think it literally took about 7 minutes to get her out, no coaching was needed, just slowing down so I wouldn't tear as she crowned. The midwife was awesome and prevented the doctor from getting a little episiotomy happy. It didn't hurt, but the word intense doesn't even justify the sensations that accompany pushing a baby out. I am so glad I could feel the whole thing, It was so incredible.



The time that Adi spent on my stomach after that was one of the things I will remember for the rest of my life. She just layed on my stomach looking up at me, blinking. She was so warm. Lots of dark hair, very intense gaze. She is defientely an intense girl and is going to give us a run for our money. She latched on and started nursing right away.

I delivered the placenta 7 minutes after Adi came out (another huge fear of mine, that the placenta wouldn't come out). We took pictures of that as well, E and I have always been fascinated with the whole placenta thing, it's really incredible.

We were left to hang out with our girl for a good long time (in hindsight it was because the maternity ward was so packed that there was no room for us, very bad foreshadowing for what was to come, but gave us great quality time after the birth). I was stiched up a bit. I tore a little and they decided to be on the safe side and stich me up, I wish they hadn't, the healing from the stiches was really painful. I don't know if it would have been better if they had just left it alone and not poked more holes in me.

Slowly, the room emptied out. Doula left, doctor left, cute medical student left, and it was just us and the midwife. She emptied my bladder once more, put Adi in a plastic bassinet, put me in a wheelchair and up to the maternity ward we went. I just want to end this part of the story here because it was so perfect. Such a good experience. The people who were with me during the delivery made the whole thing so comfortable and successful.

What was to come was really traumatic for me and I don't think I'm ready to write about it (besides the fact that this is rediculously long already). When I have time I'll put it in a separate post. Just suffice it to say that I was the last one admitted into the maternity wards before they started sending people to other hospitals because they were so packed. I spent the night in the hallway, Adi spent the night in the nursery. The staff in the ward was awful. Mean, inconsiderate, and rude. I didn't even have a bathroom, I had to go into other patients' rooms. I couldn't take care of myself, let alone Adi. At least if I was forced to be in the hallway the staff could have tried to make up for it by being more helpful, but they were stressed as well. I could go on about this but I don't want it in this post. I was finally moved to a room in the full rooming in ward at 2pm the next day. And then I was released after shabbat was over, thank god, and we went home to start our life as a family.